yay

So it seems this app works for posting text. Wonder how it will be with photos. I must say I am loving this new phone. It's a bit larger than I had hoped but it seems to actually work in my favor. I hardly need a pc with this phone. It does everything. Oh technology. Look how far you've come. I wonder how far you'll go.

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testing

So I downloaded a blogger app for my new phone and I want to see how this works. Seems fairly easy.

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A Jorb!

So, in case you haven't heard yet, I got myself hired on Friday and I will re-join the normal people as a functioning member of society and go back to work tomorrow. I'm actually pretty excited. I haven't worked since the end of June and I've been tirelessly searching, to no avail, for work this entire time. Fortunately, I have a friend who works for this company and he helped me get the job. Hopefully I don't disappoint them. It's such a relief to me and Dan because we've been struggling big time to live on on his salary alone. We've got some big plans and we need all the financial stability we can get. I'm really glad that I can finally take the weight off of his shoulders. I've felt terrible these months because he's been supporting both of us completely and I never wanted to be one of those wives who depends on their husband for everything. I believe marriage and any relationship for that matter, should be as equal as possible. Let's just hope I don't fuck this up and get fired or hate it. I don't think I'll hate it because I'll be working with my friend, I can pretty much work whatever hours I want as long as it's between 7 AM and 7 PM and I can wear whatever I want. I'm more stoked about the casual dress code than anything else. I've been so miserable at jobs where I can't be me and I have to hide all of my tattoos because they're "not professional." I am perfectly capable of acting professionally when I need to and honestly, I'll probably act more professionally now because I'll be comfortable. I won't be wearing stuffy clothes and sitting in a cubicle around pretentious douchebags all day. This is a small office and from what I've seen, everyone seems pretty laid back and just gets their work done and that's that. I hope they like me!

My dad

Today was really really hard. I woke up to a phone call this morning from my mom telling me that my dad was in the hospital and it was believed that he had a stroke right before leaving work this morning. She hadn't yet made it to the hospital so Dan and I hurried out to Mercy. I talked to one of the PAs who was working on my dad and she gave me a brief run-down of what had happened. Basically, he had a bleeding stroke. His brain was bleeding and swelling. She said when he came in to the ER in the ambulance, he was conscious and talking and doing quite fine. He quickly went downhill and it became a major concern. She told me he was going to need surgery and a whole bunch of medical jargon that I can't even try to spell here. Basically, they had to put a tube into his head to vent the pressure caused by the bleeding and swelling and then they had to cut out park of his skull to get into where it was bleeding and work on it. Then they would decide if they were going to replace that piece or leave it out. So, immediately, I knew that it was much worse than I had anticipated but she seemed positive. My mom and grandma got there and we waited and waited for updates. The surgeon and the PA called my mom and I in for a consultation before the surgery. The surgeon told us that he had a big problem on his hands and that it was life-threatening and going to be a very complicated surgery. They were doing multiple CT scans and each one was getting worse and they did an angiogram and found that the bleeding wasn't stopping and there was a large mass of his blood vessels all knotted up. So, basically we sat for hours waiting to find out if he was going to survive or not. Finally he came out of surgery and was taken to the ICU. We got to see him for a little bit and it was an awful sight. I've never seen so many machines and tubes and he was bloody and it was just so much to take in. He was awake but so heavily sedated. He will be for a while and he's also intubated and using a machine to breathe until further notice. He'll be in the ICU for at least a week and then he's going to have a really really long road of recovery. It's too early to tell what damage has been done and I have no peace of mind because there's still a lot that can happen that can complicate things. We just have to wait and wait and hope for the best. For my friends that helped me through today with kind texts, messages on facebook, etc., I really appreciate it. Special thanks to Pat because I would not have made it through the day without him. I also have the best husband ever.

Jobs?

I woke up this morning and re-wrote my resume. Ugh. I find resumes to be so utterly dull and useless. There's no way to not sound desperate and cheesy. I also don't feel that a sheet of paper is going to sum up my character, my work ethic, my knowledge, skills, etc. I hate the job hiring process of the "real world." I submitted my resume to one place today. I don't know what it is but I found the ad on Craigslist. It's for a temporary data entry position that should last about a month. It's money at least. I'm still not sure what I want to do with my life. I have such a fear of committing to a "real" job because I hate everything and I don't want to start something, hate it and quit a million times. I think I really need to learn that there's no good job out there and that I just need to suck it up and be responsible, especially right now. I have a lot going on at the moment that is very difficult for me to sort out and I need some financial stability to alleviate some of the stress. Why did I ever feel that growing up would be a good idea? When I was a kid, I couldn't wait to be a grown-up. Now, I'd trade anything to be a carefree kid a gain. I'd only have to worry about who I was going to hit with a stick today rather than how I'll pay a mortgage. Those were the days.

What to do, what to do?

Here I sit on my porch with my laptop. I feel like a total technology addict but I'm trying to enjoy the outdoors as well. There's a storm in the distance as indicated by periodic flashes and low rumbles of thunder. I feel like writing but I'm unsure as to what. I feel like ranting and raving but I feel like it's the same thing it always is. I'm jobless and broke and I don't know what to do with myself. So there's that. I'll end that rant there. I mainly just want to be creative in some fashion but I've never been one who's good at anything like that. Maybe I feel like the sounds of the evening and the distant storm should provide me with some inspiration. Maybe I just feel better about having my laptop outside if I'm doing something other than dicking around on Facebook or Twitter. I think I'm mostly at the end of my wits. I apologize for this if anyone decides to read it.

A Restaurant Review

Here's my first (and possibly only) attempt at writing a review of a dining experience.

I had heard from my old boss that The Library on the South Side was one of her favorite places to grab a bite to eat. I was looking for a new place to dine yesterday so I went to their website and perused the menu. The nerd in me was so giddy at the names of the menu items as they are mostly all based on works of literature or the literary geniuses who penned them. Going in there, I had a few ideas of items I would like to try but I had to narrow it down. I had also learned that from 5-7 they have happy hour during which most of their draft beers are $3 and all appetizers are half-priced. Not bad, right? They boast an impressive beer menu and Dan tried something new. To my knowledge, he enjoyed it. I decided to skip over the beer and look at the mixed drink menu. I am not very into liquor and usually prefer beer to any kind of alcoholic beverage but these drinks sounded delicious. I was torn between a couple different ones but eventually settled on Dracula. I'm sure it's obvious to many who know me why I chose this one. That particular beverage was potent! The menu told me that it was made of Jim Beam Black Bourban, DeKuyper Sour Apple Pucker and Cranberry juice. It was tasty but it took me the duration of our visit to finish it. Again, I'm not very fond of liquor but I had to try it.

The appetizer and dinner decisions were a bit more difficult. Mostly everything sounded wonderful. Menus are brought to your table in various books. For instance, Dan received a large atlas and glued into the first few pages was the menu. I thought that was clever. I became just as giddy looking at the physical menu as I had when I looked at it online. So many delicious-sounding items with such fantastic names. For appetizers we chose Edgar Allen Potatoes which though not spelled properly, was a generous portion of hand-cut french fries. They came out piping hot, crunchy and barely salted. I enjoy salty foods but I grow tired of establishments that pour salt over everything. These were enjoyable and filling. Definitely more than enough for 2 people to share. We also chose The Magic Pretzel. This was 3 soft pretzel sticks with beer cheese for dipping. I love getting pretzels with cheese as an appetizer but so many places have so much salt on the pretzels that I have to scrape it all off. There was barely any salt to this dish and it was much appreciated by us. The cheese sauce seemed as if it had been sitting out while the food was cooking and it had that cheese skin on top. I could have done without that but I worked through it. Overall, the appetizers were satisfying, especially at half-price.

For dinner, Dan chose the Porky Pig sandwich. It was a large pulled pork sandwich and with it, he got Edgar Allen Sweet Potatoes and an order of fried pickles. He enjoyed it and I stole a bite of the pork and it was pretty tasty. I didn't try the fries as I'm not a fan of those in general but I did try to fried pickles. It's an interesting concept. They give a very large portion of them and I'm not sure it's something that can be eaten in large portions. I had one and that was enough for me at the time. I chose The Two Towers. It was 2 pieces of filet mignon each stacked with 2 large scallops and two grilled shrimp. It was accompanied by asparagus and rissoto which were the vegetable and starch of the day. My meal was just okay. I had asked for the filet to be cooked medium-rare as I love meat more rare than cooked. I tend to cook rare at home but when I go out to eat, I'm never sure how the restaurant will cook so I figure medium-rare is usually safe. It usually tends to be more on the rare side anyway which is okay by me. This time, instead of medium-rare, my filet came out more well-done. Filet mignon is not supposed to be well-done ever. Still, it wasn't bad. I ate one of the pieces and saved the other to take home. The shrimp was also overcooked and didn't really have any flavor. The scallops were not overcooked but they did not have much flavor either. I should say that I have never much been a fan of scallops but I've tried them a few times more recently and found that, if prepared properly, I can enjoy them. By themselves, they taste like nothing and I don't like them but they do pick up flavors very well and can be enjoyable. These scallops didn't seem to have any flavors to pick up so I wasn't too keen on them. I saved a few of those to bring home as well. As for the sides, the rissoto was actually quite tasty but asparagus, again, I don't like it normally so I didn't really eat it. I took a bite only to say "yeah, I still don't like asparagus" and moved it to the side for Dan. I brought home my leftover filet, scallops, rissoto and asparagus and just had them for lunch (minus the asparagus). I heated the scallops in some butter and garlic powder and it really made a huge difference. Much better today than they were last night. All in all, my meal wasn't the best but it wasn't bad either. It was edible but not worth $28. I wouldn't think anything of paying that much for the same meal if it had been better-prepared.

All in all, our experience was pleasant. We didn't have to wait for a table, the drink selections were plentiful, the wait staff was very kind and the food was mostly good. I enjoyed the novelty of it all and I will definitely go back there and try other entrees. I think next time I'll get the Hunter S. Thompson as it sounds very delicious. I say for this trip, 3 stars out of 5.

Fffffffffffffffffffuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu

It's 6 AM and while many people are waking up about this time to begin readying themselves for their work days, I too dragged myself out of bed. The difference between me and them? Well, two of them...I don't have a job for which to get ready and I never went to sleep. Most people that know me will not be shocked by the latter as they know that I more often than not, have sleep deprivation issues. Seriously, it's getting really bad. This heat needs to cut it the fuck out. I've barely slept a few hours total this week and no sleep at all last night. All week, I have spent my nights tossing and turning trying to find a position in which I get maximum surface area exposure to the wind from the fan. Normally, the fan is really nice. Not this week. This week it's just blowing super hot air all over me. So I toss and I turn and I get progressively more frustrated to the point where I feel violent. This is why I get out of bed. I'm tired. I'm hot. I'm really fucking cranky. Add to that the joys of having a uterus and you're dealing with a mega bitch named Heather this week.

Along with the heat and exhaustion, I've been getting more restless with each passing day that I'm not working. I've been going crazy in the house by myself all day. I'm tired of washing dishes and cooking and taking care of other household chores all the time. I hardly ever get out. The most excitement I've had all week was a trip to Giant Eagle with Jason (temporary roommate) last night. I just want to do fun things and Dan never wants to do anything. DEVO is tomorrow. I really really really want to go. I haven't actually wanted to go to a show in a long time. He still hasn't given me a straight answer on the matter. Me = annoyed.

Yesterday, I went to the basement to clean the litter box. I found a puddle on the floor of rusty-looking water around the floor drain and the hot water heater. I thought the hot water heater shit the bed so to test it out, I turned on the sink in the basement and let it run for a few minutes to see if it was leaking from the water heater. Nope. It started coming up out of the floor drain...again. We just had this fixed a few weeks ago and it was disgusting and awful. So I had to call the home warranty people and they called plumbers who were supposed to call me and set up an appointment. Well, they called Dan instead and they will be coming out today between 1 and 4. In the middle of all this stupid heat, we can barely use water because it comes back out into the basement. Color me really fucking annoyed by this.

Are we getting the point of this blog yet? In case you missed it, I'm annoyed with everything.

Conclusion

So, in case you didn't know (whoever may read this), I quit my job on Saturday. I was becoming miserable again and the commute to and from was just too much. I decided to apply at The Exchange again. Now, some may see this as a step backward but I see it in a different light. I wouldn't be able to work at the same store since Dan and I are married but possibly one of the downtown stores or the new one that will be opening in Oakland. We'll see what happens. I made the decision to try to get a job there again based on what I know of myself. First, it's the best job I've ever had. This may sound silly but here's why: it was a fun atmosphere, the co-workers are mostly fantastic, the customers provide endless entertainment and I was surrounded by everything I love (music, movies and video games). It doesn't pay a lot but I've finally decided that money isn't what should determine a job. There are other factors. I've had jobs making more money and I've had jobs making less money. All of my jobs have made me miserable except that one. I can't keep finding a job and quitting a short time later. I'd rather do something I enjoy for a long time even if it's not a lot of money. Unlike a lot of people, money and objects aren't what make me happy. Yes, I need money to pay bills but I do not need money to waste on silly material things. So, hopefully this works out for me. If not, I guess it's back to the drawing board and I'll need to find something else that is at least tolerable. I never wanted to leave The Exchange but if I hadn't, I wouldn't be married to Dan today.

You win some, you lose some

Today's a bit of a bummer day for me. Not entirely sure why. I'm exhausted. I haven't really slept at all and I've been so busy with work and the house that I haven't had any time to relax at all. I think everything is really starting to catch up to me. Here's what I do know. This week, I found out that a friend of mine is apparently getting married for reasons unknown to me. This is a major shock especially because of who it is. I have an incredibly bad feeling about it but it's hard to express disapproval without being a dick. I just hope I'm wrong. I also found out today that a good friend of mine is dating a guy she broke up with many times and moved out of state to get away from. She's now dating him long-distance. He's going to ruin her life. This is a fact. She knows my feelings on the matter. She agrees with me, yet she continues to self-destruct. I worry about everyone but I can't try to babysit everyone anymore. We're all adults and decisions are ours to make. Mistakes are ours to make. I wish I could protect everyone and make sure everyone's happy but I can't and I need to learn to accept that. I can say that but I'm still sitting here worrying and being bummed that there's nothing I can do. Is it weird that I care so much? I don't know.

I had grand plans of being productive today as I have the day off and tomorrow as well. I haven't gotten a single thing done yet. I feel really bad. Dan's been busting his ass to get stuff done around here and I've been at work so much and so tired and overwhelmed by the amount of stuff that we have. I know I've done a lot but it doesn't feel like it. I'm hoping tonight we'll actually get to spend some time together since our schedules don't work out very well together. Tomorrow I'm going to meet Tia after she's done with work and go to the Arts Fest and I'll have Dan meet us when he's done. There is awesome food at the Arts Fest and also this guy's work.
We got a housewarming gift in the mail today from Ric. It's Bacon and Pickle bandages. Pretty sweet. Ric sends the best, most random gifts to us in the mail. Once he sent us a bunch of packs of monster trading cards for no reason. Love it!

Not that most people care, but I found out today that Stone Temple Pilots are playing in Pittsburgh in August. They've long been my favorite band ever and a lot of people stopped caring about them in the 90s. Whatever. I love them. I need to go see them again. Dan's never seen them before and he's always wanted to. This must happen.

ch-ch-ch-changes

The house is coming along. It took forever to get everything in here but now we're getting through things pretty well. I can't wait until it's actually comfortable and we don't have to climb over boxes to get from point A to point B. Dan and I have a lot of work this week both at work and at home.

Today was my first day as a supervisor. It really is sad that a part-time job at the mall turned out to be the most I've actually used my college degree. I guess we'll see what happens. It was weird to have to tell people what to do when previously, they were the ones helping me learn and working alongside me. I hope I can be a good "boss."

All work and no play makes me a dull girl

Finally, all of our stuff is into the house. The apartment is clean and now we can start actually going through stuff at the house. This was the worst weekend ever. We started moving at 7 AM Friday and finally stopped at about 9 PM today. I have never been so sore and exhausted in my life. Dan had to work all day yesterday so I did some work with his parents before I went to work. After work, we loaded up more stuff and brought it to the house. Dan had to work all day again today so it was me and his parents. We got the rest of the stuff in 2 truck loads and then I went back and cleaned the apartment all day while I waited for Dan to get out of work. Doing so much of this stuff alone has sucked the life out of me. Our schedules conflict so it's always one or the other of us but mostly it's been me as my schedule has been a bit more kind lately. That's about the change as I've now been upgraded to full-time instead of part-time and I'm a manager now. Yay? I just want all the clutter to go away right away. I want to have a nice-looking home and I want to hang out with the few friends I have left.

I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired. Well, I'm not sick...yet. It might get to that point if I don't catch a break soon. I've been going non-stop for the last 2 weeks between work and moving. Yesterday was the big move day. It sucked worse than any move I've ever made. It's not even done because we really had no help. The in-laws got into town Wednesday and they've been doing things around the house to help get it ready. They also helped us lug boxes and furniture up and down, up and down, up and down all day yesterday. Yes, it helped but it seemed really slow and because they're not young, they couldn't do a whole lot. I appreciate what they did but at points I just wanted them to go back to their hotel and get out of my way. My parents and brother also made an appearance for a couple of hours but left after we got the first truckload to the house. Yes, we filled up a moving truck, unloaded it and went back for more and we still don't have everything out of the fucking apartment. Now Dan has to work all weekend, I have to work today. We still need to get the rest of the stuff out of the apartment and get it all cleaned out in 2 days. Our friends Pat and Suki were kind enough to come over for a while and help us load up the second trip and unload it. They also bought us a case of beer. Before they got there, I was on the verge of tears, Dan was ready to just give up completely and we were both ready to murder anyone that upset us. When they showed up, it kind of gave us a second wind and we wouldn't have been able to continue without them. We started at 7 AM yesterday and finally went to bed at 2:45 this morning. I still haven't slept. I tried. The combination of being in a new place, worrying about getting everything done in time, worrying about how the cats were going to adjust and wondering if they were getting into anything they shouldn't, worrying that Dan's alarm wouldn't go off so he could get to work on time, etc. I have so many stupid things on my mind. I just want to sleep all day but I have to try to get some stuff done here and then go to work. Dan's parents will be here too. They are going to fill up their truck a couple of times with stuff from the apartment and bring it to the house. They have been the most help through all of this. I still feel really overwhelmed. I'm used to living amongst a ton of stuff and boxes but now there's a ton of stuff and boxes that are spread out all over a giant house. I'm not sure how to approach everything. I feel let down. At one point in my totally exhausted rage last night, I wanted to just disown everyone I knew for not helping us. I hate to ask for help and I rarely do but sometimes I still feel as I have many many many times that I'm always willing to help a friend in need but when I'm the one in need, nobody's there for me. I've gotten over it. Right now, there's just too much shit going on for me to think clearly. I need a break.

Home is where the heart is...or some such nonsense

I'm sure mostly everyone is tired of hearing about the fact that we're so close to buying a house but it's a huge step. We close on Friday and move in next Friday. I'm going to be spending probably every waking moment that I'm not at work in the next week over at the new place cleaning, scraping, priming, painting, tearing up carpet, etc. It's going to be a lot of hard work but in the end, I'm sure it will be rewarding. I do have some strange ideas that I haven't really shared. As far as I know, this house was built in 1920. I love it because it's so old. It has so much old charm and character. I've got a thing for old craftsmanship. I probably don't seem like it, but I'm such a sucker for this stuff. This house is gorgeous, except for some rooms that have ugly paint and carpet but nothing that we can't fix. We're going to be re-painting everything and while it's exciting, I'm afraid that it won't look as good as when we originally fell in love with it. Then I think about changing something so old. I feel as though it's going back and re-writing history in a sense. A house that's 90 years old has got to have some interesting tales to tell, if only I could hear them. I always feel as though I have to preserve old things but now I'm going to be changing it...a lot. I know that a home is where one should feel comfortable...a haven. I know that we need to make it such. It will be exciting to start our own history. I just wish I could know the original history before I go changing it. This is rambling, I'm sure. It makes sense in my head. Oh well. I'm pumped. I'm finally going to have a place to call my own. Home sweet home.

Time...where does it go and what does it change?

Lately I've been thinking about changes. I've been going through a lot of them recently but I don't want to talk about me. I've been thinking about technological changes a lot and the impact they've had on society. I've briefly discussed some of these with a couple people but I wanted to put a list together. This list is going to be mostly based on changes that have happened in my lifetime (the last 26 years). This is probably going to be an ongoing post. Here's what I have so far:

A major change that occurred when I was a kid was the change from cassettes to CDs. I used to sit in my room and listen to my boombox, record favorite songs off of the radio, etc. Cassettes had a lot less space than CDs and you had to flip them over to listen to the entire album. I didn't mind though. Kids nowadays don't even know what a cassette is. It makes me feel old. CDs are more expensive but much more versatile. You can load music, photos, documents and whatever else onto a CD.

Along the same lines, the change in movies. We had VHS. There were also laser discs which didn't last long. Now we have DVDs, HD DVDs and Blu Ray. Again, we see that these forms offer more versatility than VHS. We used to go to the video store and rent movies. Now, we download them or get them in the mail from Netflix or watch them instantly on our computers or video game consoles. A friend of mine mentioned to me that soon, kids are going to ask what a video store was.

Libraries...does anyone really use them anymore? When I was a kid, we had a class in school on how to use the library. I haven't set foot in one in years. If you wanted to read a book, you either bought it at the store or borrowed it from the library. To do school work, you had to go to the library and look up information in books. In order to find those books, you had to look in the card catalog. Remember the Dewey Decimal System, people? The only reasons people go to the library now are to use free internet or for a quiet place to work. The internet has pretty much replaced the need for libraries. You can find any information you need from the comfort of your living room and you don't have to pay late fees. I had to take a research class in college...the class was held in one of the computer labs in the library. I'm pretty sure the class didn't mention using books at all.

Here's one that I've recently discussed with a couple different people: writing. Handwriting, to be exact. When I was young, we had to learn how to write in cursive as well as printing. We had handwriting books with practice exercises. Now, we type...everything. I'm not even sure they teach handwriting in schools anymore. The only time I ever write in cursive is when I sign my name. I will shamefully admit that I no longer remember how to write everything in cursive. There are some letters that I don't remember. I know that I'm not alone in this. Kids used to write in diaries or journals and hide them under their mattresses safe from the prying eyes of parents and siblings. Now type everything and save it on our computers or post it on the internet...just like this.

Cell phones...they're not what they used to be. When I was a kid, we called them car phones because that's where they were used. People had them in their cars to use for emergencies. My dad had one...it was in a leather bag and plugged into the cigarette lighter. You couldn't use it if you weren't in the car. Now cell phones are more prevalent than actual landlines for homes. Everyone's got one. I see kids in elementary school wandering around with cell phones. It kind of makes me sick. Most people don't even use their cell phones for speaking either. We text, we send photos, we browse the internet and visit social networking sites. Rarely do we speak.

Video games. My first one was an Atari. I don't think I need to dive too deeply into how much these have changed, do I?

The internet. I remember when it started to gain in popularity. It's taken over pretty much everything. We use it to communicate via e-mail, chat applications and social networking sites. We do our research, our shopping and even find love on the internet. I could go on and on but I don't think I really need to. It's changed everything.

This is getting long so I'll pause for now. I'll probably come back and add things later. I just want to drive home the point that there are so many things that have changed as a result of technological advances just in during the time I've been around. Imagine what our parents and grandparents think. They've seen so much more. We've all become lazy and anti-social. I wonder what it will be like if I have a kid. Feel free to comment.